Face the Pain

The transfer to my hospital bed was the start of a day full of pain. They set up an IV and start giving me Demerol shots every hour. But they are not giving me much. Since I might be operated on later in the day I can't drink or eat anything or I can't be too medicated. I'm what they called in hospital speak "NPO" which means "nothing by mouth". I lie there for what seems like eternity, watching the hours on the clock slowly drift by.

The Demerol gives me some relief. but only seems to work for 45 minutes. After that I start getting these intense spasms in my right hip and leg. It's like someone is wacking my leg with a sledgehammer. The pain becomes so intense throughout the day that I tell me wife that I can't see any visitors. It seems like any noise, or person even walking by my leg, sets off the spasms. Caleb comes by, as well as my preacher, to say a prayer when I am having some these spasms and I am a mess.

Around 8 p.m. the doctor comes in and gives me the bad news. "I'm not going to be able to operate on you today," he tells me. I am out of my mind in pain at this point and tell him to give me something stronger for the pain. They up my Demerol dosage. They put my right foot in a boot and traction, raising it and immobilizing it. They allow me to drink something, but not eat. I tell my wife to go home cause I can't bear for her to see me in such so much pain. I spend the rest the my night in pain, letting out a mixture of screams and curse words.

There is older patient who is in the room across or next to me who is also in some serious hurt. I can hear him screaming and cussing in Spanish. You know the saying "misery loves company". It is like he and I are having some kind of screaming contest to see who can scream the loudest. LOL. It's kinda of funny when I think about it now, but it sure wasn't for him or I when it was happening.

My nurse on duty keeps telling me to try control the pain. At one point she brings me some material to read about hip fractures. I think to myself "You've got to be kidding me?" The spasms in my hip and leg are excruciating. I can hardly talk. I'm about to pass out.

I try focusing on taking the pain. First I hum religious songs like "Amazing Grace" and others. That doesn't work. I play the song "Take the Pain" by STEMM in my mind. It's on my cell phone ringtone. I love watching the UFC. I imagine myself in the Octagon fighting. But it doesn't help as I'm getting my ass kicked taking punches to my face and kicks to my leg by an badass opponent called "the hip fracture".



Remembering the breathing exercises my wife used when she gave birth to my second son, I try the childbearing method of pain control. I breathe in and out rapidly in forced movements. This seems to work the best and I spend the rest of the night breathing rapidly and holding my right leg like I was having contractions for a baby. The only question that keeps running through my mind is -- "What am I going to name the baby?" LOL.

It is the most painful night I had ever gone through in my life.